The Queen Bee is down

Well I finally proved that Im not superwoman and had to spend some time in the clinic yesterday because I contracted pneumonia. Im not doing to well and Im far away from my friends and the people I need, even though my family are doing a wonderful job.

Defining moments

From the time I was about 22 years old I made decision not to allow peoples words, adjectives or labels define me. And as a rule, I dont. But events over the last month have caused an even more acute "belly button "syndrome than usual. I find myself being obsessively introspective as you can probably tell by the increased ramblings on this blog!!!!!!! Had a run in with a client of mine this week who as usual, attacked what I was wearing as it was not within his cultural context of acceptable wear and he suffers from intolerable "unrelenting standards" sickness. Very self and other critical. I was expecting it and wore the diamond shirt as an act of defiance against my depression which was not lifting caused by severe withdrawal from various people that I love in my life. And it seemed to bring ME some relief ven though others in Mauritius would not understand and looked at me in a rather bemused way.

I have started thinking about the way I define myself and came up wih the following labels:

woman
Christian
Consultant
mother
wife
lover
hypocrite
passionate
loyal
friend
coach
counsellor
customer
lesbian
methodist
south african
english
deep
intense
strong
fierce
expat
traveller
expert

Question is - how can all of these begin to live together?

Being Me

In spite of my best efforts not to care and to separate the different things I do in my life I find myself worrying about people. The collegue going through a divorce; so and so who is lonely another is sick. And then there's my family. Are they going to be permanantly scarred by the uncontrollable passions of their slightly eccentric mother and partner who is constantly wandering and wondering?

The worst thing in the world about being me - is being me.

Are you mine?

Three O clock in the morning,

My day is dawning;

Early birds are singing.

You can see it in my eyes;

That it comes as no suprise to you;

And you know my heart is yearning,

For your loving.

Are you mine?

Are you my one and only girl?

Are you mine?

Madagascar

Where are we going? - Edward Monkton

Where are we going?
I dont know. I thought you knew.
No, I dont know. Maybe she knows.
No. She doesnt seem to know.

PAUSE

Maybe no-one knows

PAUSE

Ah well - I hope its nice when we get there.

Dichotomy

This post is about the central theme that runs through my life. A dichotomy. In normal terms this means to halves making a whole or being split in two. Im back in Mauritius with my daughter but Ive left behind my wife and son in South Africa. Im happy that Joy is here with me but devastated at the distance between Jesse and Natalie and I. I love my country but I love my life and friends here. I have always had this challenge in my life - ying and yang - dark vs light.

And that would be okay if only I could get them in equal proportion! Im torn by the very thing that I embrace.

Where did the weekend go???? [Photo][Photo]Well the weekend is almost over! I think what made it worse is that I had to work on Friday night and Saturday. I woke up this morning and told myself to shape as I had to get working but everything in me went into rebellion and I found a million more urgent (but necessary) things to do like clean the house until it shone!!!!!!But alas I can no longer avoid being chained to my computer for a few hours. One of the things I dont like about working the way I do is that the work is never done! Because I am a one man show I have to do the selling,the marketing, the actual work, respond to customers needs, give follow up work or pre work , develop training courses. And in between all this I need to read and do research to stay on top of my game!!I have been doing a lot of thinking and research about customer service lately. The best definition of customer serivce that I can think of is "to exceed the expectations of your customers". This started me thinking about all my customers. My emotional customers: my family and friends. The best measurement of customer service is feedback. So Joy, Nats and Jesse how am I doing? As my "customers" am I blowing you away with the service I offer you? Do I listen to what you need and give it to you? Am I doing enough to keep you coming back for more? How about you Jenny, Aruna , Maria and Eddy? Am I available enough for you? Am I hearing what you are saying and what you are not saying? What do you need from me? Let me now guys because one thing is for sure :you are the most important "customers" I will ever have, and I want to make sure that I always keep you coming back for more!Namaste en groete!Kim (aka The Mama)

Monday, Monday

What is it about Mondays that inspire such anxiety on a Sunday night? I couldnt sleep again last night as my perfectionistic brain tried to ensure that I had everything prepared for the next day. IU had a new set of clients and I wanted things to go right. Sometimes I fee like my own worst enemy because I will never let myself swith off and rest!!!

Mothers Day

Happy Mothers Day to me and any other mom out there who is far away from home and her family. Today was better than I thought it was going to be. Just knowing that I am away from home because I am providing for my family makes it worthwhile. In fact today I felt a real sense of achievement and pride for doing something my ex husband could never do! Kudos to me!!! I attach a photo of my mothers day gifts and a picture of where I spent the majority of my day reading and researching. As you know a womans work is never done!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To any other moms out there - keep strong. Child rearing is a long term investment that only pays off when they fly away free and then CHOOSE to come back to you. To my two beautiful children Joy and Jesse - I love you! To Chase, my angel in heaven - Mommy loves you too.

Home away from home

So here it is! my home away from home here in Grand Bay in Mauritius. It is really, really pink! But at least it is mine and I can come and go as I please. Let me know what you think. I need some advice on decorating pink rooms on a budget!

To my precious family in Joburg - I love you madly! XXXXXXXX

Sleep and frustrated

Today I woke up tired. Im not managing to sleep well in my new apertment in Mauritius and Im frustrated because I dont know why. I tossed and turned the whole night. Normally when this occurs, its because something is worrying me but there is nothing that I can think of!

My new place is so peaceful and quiet - I know that it was the right decision to stay there instead of at the hotel. So why cant I sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep???????????????

Welcome!

Hi there Friends and Family!

My name is Kim Andersen and Im an organisational development consultant who spends an insane amount of time travelling the world helping people to develop healthy organisations that advance their strategic intent. I also do training on a variety of development subjects on which I am an expert and life coaching to around 45 clients. i also own a retail business in Johannesburg South Africa.

My main purpose on this earth is to be a good mother to my two amazing children Joy and Jesse. The purpose of this blog is to find a way of chatting to them about my day to day adventures while I am away and to gain a keyhole into their worlds.

As a mom, I battle to find a balance between the family I love and the work that Im passionate about. Family - this is for you!

P.s Im the one in the middle with my trademark rose broach!